


The dock by the lake

by pensandwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Demons, Love, M/M, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:29:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2019924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensandwings/pseuds/pensandwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is determined to save Dean, no matter the cost. But with Cas' grace burning out will he be able to make Dean human again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The dock by the lake

Dean stood at the foot of the freshly dug dirt. His hands were shoved deeply to the bottom of his coat pocket. He stared ahead, watching as the sun set, just above the peak of the trees. Sam didn’t know he was here. They both had sat in silence for the longest time. Sam would offer words of comfort without resolve and then would sink back into grimace. Dean had clutched his keys tightly, muttering some excuse, getting out of the bunker. He drove wildly, swerving in and out of lanes. He couldn’t see straight behind the anger and tears threatening to form. He wouldn’t dare look at the seat beside him. When he did he just saw his face, and those blue eyes.

As he looked at the ground before him now, it struck him that it was very likely he would never see them again. The thought pained him; it chipped away at what was left of his heart. Piece by piece, he was breaking down without him here. Dean shook his head, blinking back the water pricking his eyes.

“You idiot.” He said to the mound of dirt. “What the hell were you thinking?” he huffed deeply. He didn’t think it would be this hard. He had watched those he cared about die a thousand times before. It never hurt like this.

“You couldn't just let me be,” his words were angrier now. They ached as they came out. “You couldn’t just focus on making yourself right for once. No it always had to be about cleaning up my mistakes.”

Dean felt the rage boil up in his stomach, the after effects of his recent decent into hell mixed with his legitimate dislike for god’s fate. “I don’t need this Cas! I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you. Failing you like I fail every other god forsaken thing I care about.”

Dean could handle it anymore. The tears spilled over onto his cheeks. He cried loudly, doubling over to kneel on the ground. He buried his face in his hands. As hard as he pressed his hands against his eyes, he couldn’t get the image of Cas dying out of his head.

Cas had found him, convinced he had a way that would save him. He looked hopeful and terrified at the same time. Dean had been covered in blood, surrounded by the bodies of his recent victims. The first blade had been tightly clutched in his fist, raising it as a warning. “You better stay away from me there angel,” Dean had flashed his eyes black, “I like to play rough.”

“Dean,” he stepped forward, “I’ve found it. I know how we can fix you.”

“What’s to fix,” Dean smirked, wiping the blood from his forehead.

“This is not you Dean.” Cas insisted, eyeing him from head to toe. He kept stepping forward, hands raised in compliance.

“Isn’t it though? I think this is who I’ve been for a long time. Only now I have the eyes to match.” Dean stroked the blade with his hand, eyeing Cas as he did. Dean can still remember how badly he had wanted to hurt him, to shove the blade deep into his chest. The thought now made him sick to his stomach.

“No. You are a great man, not the abomination infesting your body.” His words only angered Dean further. He held the blade high, stepping towards Cas. He swung down hard, aiming directly for his stomach. Cas dodged his blow, stepping to the side. Cas swung at dean, knocking him back. The blade dropped from his hands. Dean snarled viciously. “You’re going to die pretty boy.”Dean lunged for Cas, shoving both of them to the ground. Dean walled his fists into Cas’ face, breaking bone and gashing the skin. Pulling his arm up to defend his face, reached around to pull the blade from his pocket. He tore the skin on Cas’ arm, the blooding tricking down his skin. Cas’ eyes flashed and suddenly he had flipped Dean over, shoving his shoulders into the cement. Sam ran in, arriving just in time to see what had unfolded. Cas caught Sam’s eye. Sam nodded slightly, permission and a goodbye.

Cas slammed his wrist down onto Dean mouth. The blood trickled into his mouth. Dean struggled against him, using all of his weight to try to push him off. Dean spat and choked on the blood, spatter coming out the sides of his lips. Dean could remember the colour slowly draining from the angel’s face. He could feel his breath become heavy and broken. Dean felt like he was on fire, everything was burning. His attempts to push Cas off were interrupted by his screams of pain. There was a bright light and then blackness. The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was a slight sobbing coming from above him.

Sam had filled him in on the pieces that were missing. Cas had collapsed, the last bit of grace drained from his body. Sam kneeled beside him, he head held in his hands. Tears rolled off his cheeks into his hands. Cas’ face was wet and pale. “Did it work?” he gasped out. “Yeah Cas, it worked buddy,” Sam whispered, trying to keep his voice from wavering, “It worked.” A broken smile touched across Cas’ lips, “Dean Winchester is saved.” He died with that smile of his face. The light faded from his eyes and his head slumped to the side, blood still draining from his wounds.

Dean woke shortly after that. He lifted his head slowly to adjust to the light. He felt as though he hadn’t used his eyes in months. He pulled himself up, looking around him. Sam sat against the wall, running his hands back through his hair. “Sam?” Dean asked quietly. Sam shot up, pushing himself to the wall to sat beside Dean. “Are you-” he started. “Human,” Dean answered. Sam reached out a hand to pull him from the ground. His face looked sympathetic. He looked at Dean the way you look at someone who had just lost everything. Sam pulled him into a hug, slapping his hand and holding him tightly.

“What happened?” Dean asked after he pulled back. “All I remember is Cas shoving his wrist into my throat.” Sam didn’t answer. He looked the ground.

“Wait, where is Cas? That asshole didn’t even stay around to make sure it worked?”

“Dean,” Sam started, his words were heavy.

“Where is he?” Dean asked as something sick started to form in his stomach.

“Listen, he-”

“Where is he?” Dean shouted at him. Sam pointed to a door that stood off to the side. “In there.”

Dean took a deep breath, trying to stop the thoughts that were racing through his head. This couldn’t be happening. He’s fine. He’ll open the door and Cas will be sitting there with his dumbfound expression on his face. Dean walked up to the door, slowly raising his hand to turn the knob. He was met with the sight of Cas’ lifeless body, slumped against a broken chair.

“Cas.” Dean stared, walking forward. “Cas?” his voice wavered and broke. “CAS.” He shouted, taking his face in his hands.

“Please buddy,” he cried, shaking him “Please wake up.” He moved his hands to his shoulders, feeling his blood seep through the fabric of his coat. “You can’t be dead.” Dean slumped to his knees, this wasn’t like the other times before. When Cas had died in the past Dean had always knew that he would come back. He’d find a way, he always did. But Cas had burnt out his grace trying to save him, God wasn’t on their side and neither were the angels. Jimmy had died long ago and all was left was a broken shell of the angel he once knew.

“You can’t leave me,” Dean said shaking Cas’ knees slightly. “I need you,” he sobbed “I need you.” He chanted this and in his sadness he realized that somewhere in the past 5 years I need you had turned into I love you. He loved Cas, and now it was too late.

Dean wouldn’t let Sam burn his body. Something felt wrong about it. If Cas ever did come back, he wanted him to have his body. Dean couldn’t help as Sam dug an angel sized hole. He didn’t say goodbye when Sam took his body out of the room. Dean closed himself off. He stayed in his room, listening to every song he’d never get to show Cas, and hurt himself with remembering.

It was three days before Dean couldn’t handle it, and drove out to Cas’ grave. Now he stood at the foot of where he was buried.

“I’m so sorry, for everything.” He patted the dirt on the ground, twisting it through his fingers. “I love you Cas. I always will, and I’ll wait for you. So I’m going to ask for one more thing from you. Don’t be dead. Please. Don’t be dead.”

Dean stood, wiping the tears from his face. “I’ll keep this safe for you,” he said, folding the tan trench coat in his hands. “Just like before, until you come back.”

He took one more look at the sky before whispering. “Bye Cas.”

He walked back slowly to the impala, taking one final look at what was left of his friend. The water lapped lightly on the dock, as the sun set over the lake. Years ago a man and an angel had stood on the dock, trapped in a dream. Now a post that had Cas’ name sadly carved into it was stuck into the grass by the edge of the bank. The words, Angel, hunter, friend, marked into the wood.


End file.
